Doing it mom's way

One of the nice things about traveling alone with Kaitlyn is that we're doing things that we probably wouldn't if Keith was here with us. For example, yesterday one of the local shopping centers was having a craft day so we went down to string leis and make Kukui nut bracelets. While I was doing that, one of the volunteers, a nice grannie type, whisked Kaitlyn away and had her plucking away at a ukulele along with some men that were playing. This is definitely a unique experience and I don't think Keith would have been up for craft day. Even if he was, people seem more open to approaching us and offering to hold her or help out when I'm on my own, which makes for her meeting a lot of new people, which she loves.

Later on we went on a tour of an old store at the historical society and then visited the City of Refuge and the Painted Church. I'll be posting a full review of baby friendly activities closer to the end of the trip but it's safe to say that so far she is definitely getting experiences that simply aren't possible in Whitehorse, and so am I. Apart from one rough day things are going great and I'm steeling myself for a long car ride to Hilo next week.

Travel Essentials

Here is the list of travel essentials, other than the standard stroller and car seat, from my experience with a six month old in Hawaii:

1. Jolly Jumper. This thing is worth its weight in gold and every ounce of the weight that it takes up in my suitcase. Kaitlyn spent time in her jumper every single day while I made dinner or just took a few minutes to relax and update Facebook and this blog. Everyone from the house that I stayed in would come down to watch her jump and the attention only made her jump higher. I think this also contributed to her sudden ability to sleep 12 hours straight each night.

2. My Little Seat. This travel contraption replaced the Bumbo in my suitcase at the last minute. Not only did it work great as a high chair and baby containment device, it packs up into an 8x6" bag. Super cute and so effective that the property manager I'm staying with is going to get one for each of his condos.Nfind out more about it here.

3. iPad. I loaded up my Lonely Planet guide on my Kindle app and had maps and advice at my fingertips wherever I went. More importantly, I was able to Skype with daddy and grandparents while we were away which helped me realize how important they are to Kaitlyn's life. As if I didn't know already! This also leads me to...

4. Local knowledge. The family I was staying with gave me shortcuts For travel and tips galore for enjoying the Big Island. Don't just rely on travel guides, look for websites developed by locals. They can be rough and old school but they put a lot of work into making sure that you get the good info. My host manages Kona 123. On that note, I recommend them for vacation home rentals as well.

5. Extra time. I know this isn't something you can pack but you should plan for it. I always planned for two days of activity followed by a day of down time and even then that was sometimes too much, especially on days like this.

6. Two travel change pads. I only brought one and it was a pain packing it up into the diaper bag again each day. A small thing but one that makes those "OMG I need to get you out of that now!" moments a little easier.

7. Muslin blanket. This blanket keeps her warm on the plane, shields her from the nastiness of airport lounge seats or floors when I want to put her down and is an extra sun shield in the stroller. I don't go anywhere without it. Mine is from Aden & Anais but you can get different kinds in almost any baby boutique.

That's it for now, I'm here for two more weeks so I'll add more if I think of it. Just remember what I always tell myself as I'm packing, "For everything else, there's Visa!"

Bravo to moms!

I've made it through one week on my own and all I can say is Bravo. Bravo to all the single moms out there who do this on their own day in and day out for years. One week alone and I am exhausted, lonely and taxed to the point of tears. And that's with a baby who sleeps 12 hours a night and is a perfect angel 90% of the time that she's awake! The most heartbreaking thing is the look on her face and the way she reaches for the screen whenever we talk to her dad on Skype. If there was ever any doubt in my mind about babies needing their daddies it has been erased by her reactions to those conversations! I know that the experiences she's having are great for her developing senses but I feel terrible taking her away from a person that she clearly loves so much.

I should clarify. So far we've had really great days and there are a lot of baby friendly free activities to do on the Big Island, more on that in another post. It has been a lot of fun and Kaitlyn has made a lot of friends wherever we go. Today, however, we had a rough ride down winding mountain roads as Kaitlyn screamed in the back for no reason other than that she wanted to be out of her car seat. I was hopped up on all the coffee samples and starving. We arrived in the little village of Holualoa only to find the cafe closed, after struggling to get a stuck stroller out of the car with Kaitlyn still crying. After she finally fell asleep I popped into local artist Shelly Maudsley White's gallery because she had an inviting looking sofa and brightly colored paintings, and I really needed a break. We talked for a while and she ended up giving me a print that I had admired! Even sleeping, Kaitlyn is winning hearts. That or Shelly could tell that I really needed a pick me up since I almost lost it in her gallery.

One week down, two more to go.

Aloha from Hawaii!

Big news, I've taken my six month old daughter on vacation to Hawaii for three weeks. By myself. If you're like most of the people I've met so far, you've probably just thought "wow, that's brave!" Maybe it is but the way I see it, single mothers have to do this for much longer than three weeks and they don't get to do it in Paradise. I decided to do the vacation because Kaitlyn has never been outside without being bundled up and because I will probably never again have the opportunity to take an extended vacation with just one child to take care of.

So I thought I'd write about our visit here and my experiences in trying out single motherhood for a few weeks. The posts will be short because I'm typing on an iPad but I'll try to keep you updated with the positives and negatives.

I chose Kailua-Kona for our vacation primarily because of the vacation home rental that I found. I'm staying in a basement suite with hosts who are very baby friendly at a cost of only $46 per night. That gets me two bedrooms, two bathrooms and a shared kitchen. I'm also armed with a rental car and, most importantly, a jolly jumper.

So, how is it going? Well on the first day I wanted to nominate myself for worst mother of the year. I stopped in at a beach so that Kaitlyn could feel the sand on her toes and while I was looking for my camera she face planted into the sand. It was in her eyes, ears and of course she grabbed a fist full and shoved it in her mouth. I was too busy worrying about her eyes and dumping my water bottle in her facets flush them out to notice that the sand didn't bother her one bit. And yes, her diapers have been interesting since then.

The next couple of days have been a little better. Taking her to the beach, a planned trip this time, proved to be a lot of work and a lot of stuff to carry but was rewarded with seeing turtles and an impromptu hula show. Unfortunately the hula show woke her up just when she had fallen asleep and I had relaxed with my Kindle for the first time. At least her smiles make up for the lack of personal time!

The goal on this trip is to give her experiences that she wouldn't have in Whitehorse and to challenge myself to enjoy being alone. We'll see how we do.

S is for Sleep, T is for Tummy

It's confession time. My daughter, Kaitlyn, sleeps on her tummy. She has since the day she came home from the hospital and started sleeping on my chest, except for a month of practically sleepless nights when we tried to force back sleeping through swaddling and other methods. So there it is. Personally, I think it's a not-so-dirty little secret that more than a few moms have but no one will admit to it because the Back to Sleep campaign that started in 1994 has everyone scared out of their wits.

Yes, it is true that since the Back to Sleep campaign started, the incidents of SIDS deaths has decreased by half. However, the campaign was launched with other advice such as "Don't smoke around your children," and "Breast is best." These are two important statements that have a huge impact on infant health but they are rarely associated with SIDS discussions.

A 1992 study found that only 13% of U.S. infants were put to sleep on their back; generations before us were instructed to make babies sleep on their tummies. One popular thought was that the baby could choke if they spit up. I like to think that theory went out the window the first time someone did some actual thinking about it.

Another popular baby care idea was to only formula feed, but we have happily moved back to an emphasis on breastfeeding, coincidentally encouraged around the same time as back sleeping. I'm sure that the next generation will have a whole new set of ideas about the way babies should be raised. The way I see it, we wouldn't have gotten this far as a species if babies were only meant to sleep on their backs.

Am I nervous about her sleeping on her tummy? Absolutely. Especially since we moved her into her crib in the other room. Those first few weeks I probably woke up every 20 minutes to check on her. Still, at five months old, if I wake up and don't hear a sound from her within a few minutes, I'll find an excuse to get out of bed and take a look at her. So it's not without sacrifice. But a 2004 study cited in Medical News Today, although they continue to recommend back sleeping at the end, showed that babies who have experience sleeping on their tummies are better able to provide themselves with fresh air because they turn their heads completely.

I have also noticed that she sleeps more soundly, and for longer, than most other babies I know. She learned how to find and put her soother in far sooner than other babies were even aware of objects around them. And she's a very happy baby who knows that when I put her on her tummy with her soother, it's time for a nap. All of this is supported by numerous studies done since 1998 that show babies who sleep on their tummies have increased motor skills, social skills and cognitive ability development.

In researching this post, I saw that a lot of people recommended a tight swaddle for babies in order to get them to sleep on their backs. Really? That doesn't seem a little unnatural to you? Kaitlyn was swaddled for the first month when we were really desperate to try to get her settled but babies need to move in order to develop skills. It's perfectly normal for them to wake up a few times a night and practice, which is much harder from the back.

Now I'm not saying all babies should go to sleep on their tummies, I'm just saying that mine does and we shouldn't be afraid to admit it. It seems to be a preferred position for many babies and there is a lot of research supporting the healthy development of babies who sleep in the prone position. There are a lot of factors that go into SIDS and a mom who has a healthy, normal weight baby who is breast-fed and lives in a non-smoking environment (hopefully that's most of them!) should not be terrified to let their baby sleep in whatever their preferred position is.