About Me

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I am a mother of one with a background in public relations and communications, and a degree in Psychology. Before becoming a mom I was very career focused and traveled across Canada working for the Canadian Forces before moving to a job with the Yukon government in order to settle down. This blog is about my transition from working bee to full-time mom and maybe back again. It's also about what it means to be a mom and a home maker.

Wednesday, July 3, 2013

Kaitlyn chooses a nickname

When we mused on all of the various options our daughter would have to nickname herself when we chose Kaitlyn Elizabeth, we never imagined that she would come up with the nickname that she has apparently, at the age of one, chosen all on her own.

For a little while now, Kaitlyn has pointed to herself and repeated "Keiki, Keiki," as she named the various members of our family, which includes "Mommy, Daddy, Bopper (Chopper) and Kitty." I thought it was cute that she couldn't quite say Kaitlyn and had come up with an alliterative alternative. This week, though, I got suspicious and asked her to say Kaitlyn. "Kaylen," she said, easily. Then she looked right in my eyes, pointed to herself and said "No, Keiki." So there it is; she can say her name but has chosen to call herself Keiki. I've fallen into the habit myself now and it seems like it's going to stick.

Keiki is the Hawaiian word for baby, or little one, so I have to wonder if she remembers being called this more than a year ago when we visited Kona for three weeks. It's amazing what their minds can process and remember as they learn so much every day. I don't mind Keiki but it's going to be hard to find things with her "name" on them as she gets older!

Keiki and Keith help untag ducks after the Canada Day Rotary Duck Race

Tuesday, June 18, 2013

A coffee shop encounter

I was in Tim Horton’s this afternoon drafting a blog post when an elderly lady came up to tell me how much she enjoyed seeing that some people still write by hand.

We ended up chatting for a little while and our conversation ranged from penmanship, (mine is poor but she admired that I had any at all) which has declined since the introduction of the ball-point pen, to the role of women (we both agree that the women’s liberation movement has gone too far and now ties women to their desks rather than their kitchens, and far too early in their children’s lives), to the education system in Yukon (she quit teaching as a professor at the college because she felt it didn’t qualify as a learning institution), to parenting values (too much emphasis on being perfect, not enough time showing our children how to live values, and too much pressure on educators to pick up the slack), to the dangers of homeopathic remedies, to the politics in her senior’s home.

We agreed in opinion on each of these topics and she admired the decision we are making to move away from Yukon in order to pursue the life we want as a family. It was nice to have this validation, especially from someone of that age. Most of the time when I tell people we are moving, they ask if I have a job lined up or what I will do for work. When I explain that I will be at home, the question of when I’ll go back to work inevitably comes up. It’s clear that my choice to be at home, for however long, is hard to accept for the women I talk to in the work force.

One last little note from our conversation: She spent her post-children years as a cultural geographer, focusing on how cultures compete for power and she defines culture as “how you understand the raw stuff of life.” I thought you might like to ruminate on that interesting definition.

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Baby Update

It has been far too long since you've seen a post from me, but that's because we are well on track to achieving a couple of big dreams, (including being an at-home mom!) and getting there has been all-consuming for a little while. I can't be the only working mom out there who spends all day in front of a computer and after dinner-bath-bed-no, really go to bed-okay, I'm serious now, go to sleep-Okay fine, I'll get dad since he's the only one who can actually put you to sleep,  just wants to sit down on the couch for ten minutes rather than writing a blog post. Sorry.

However, we are excited to announce that Baby #2 will be a girl! Kaitlyn is going to have a sister and we are both thrilled about it. Having a little girl has been such a good experience the first time around and we're hoping for something similar this time. So far Kaitlyn's understanding of the situation has increased to the point that she waves "Hi" to my belly and promptly says "Bye-bye baby" and pulls down my shirt. Here's a couple of photos from our recent ultrasound along with a promise for more posts soon.

Baby #2 sitting quietly

This one is a little creepy, you could say she's laughing or getting ready to  take a big bite out of mom!

Sunday, May 5, 2013

"Spaced Out on Sensation..."

Choir is finally finished and our final concerts were fantastic. Everyone had a lot of fun, the energy was high in all of the songs and my semi-solo opportunity went off without a hitch. Costumes became the thing to do, since we had so many great opportunities for them, so when Sue and I had our opportunity we each donned a pair of cat ears and hit the microphones for our four bars. No problems and we got lots of compliments; a long way from my legs freezing up every Monday night in rehearsal.

To be honest, I think being on stage with the lights shining and the audience waiting really helped. As soon as we got to the Arts Centre for our first rehearsal I felt really great about being on the stage. It was energizing and my confidence hit a high. The extra lessons and knowing that the whole choir was putting on a phenomenal show probably contributed as well.

Even though I'm completely exhausted today, I think choir is the one activity I'll continue while we're in Victoria. Music is good for your soul.

The best non-blurry photo of me at the microphone.

This photo from The Time Warp gives you an idea of how much fun we were having with the songs. 

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Two Big Announcements

Here's an exclusive for my blog readers that I have been patiently waiting to post. Keith and I are very excited to announce that we are expecting baby #2! That's right, Kaitlyn is going to be a big sister around November.

Our other big announcement is that baby #2 (we will have to come up with a better nickname) will be born in Victoria, BC. After six years for me, and 31 years for Keith, we've had enough of the very long winters and are headed for the beach! We are abandoning the daily slog so that Keith can go to school and I can be an at-home mom for at least a couple of years. It's a big adventure and it's a bit scary but we have lots of friends and family on the island so it's not as scary as when I first moved up here all on my own.

I know, all you northerners are thinking "but what about the rain!" and I'll tell you that I have missed the rain every single winter since I've been here. What can I say, I'm a West Coast girl. And for Keith, the opportunity to pursue education and live in a different town is likely going to be life-changing, just like coming North was for me.

The next few months are going to be intensely busy as we wrap up our commitments here, pare down our belongings and perhaps get the house ready to sell. Part of me wants to keep it, just in case we come back, but I believe in giving 100% to whatever adventure we take on, so on the market it goes.

We both can't wait to be close to the water, closer to where we really want to be in life, and of course closer as a family as we welcome our new addition.

Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Today, I lost it

Today I lost it on my family. I had an all-out mommy tantrum that included throwing boots, rotten cucumbers and my purse.

It started with Kaitlyn falling off the bed. No, wait. It started when I woke up to blowing snow. In April. But I wasn't too mad about it. Yet. Back to the bed.

I put her there while I was getting dressed this morning, and when I turned away to grab a pair of tights she took the opportunity to lunge sideways, hit the soft stool that we have for the cat, and land on a giant euro-pillow. I'll note here that she has gotten safely off the bed several times all by herself and there was absolutely no reason to fall, or freak out about the fact that she landed on a pillow. Disregarding that fact, I scooped her up and consoled her while frantically hunting the house, in my underwear, for a soother. And where was Keith? Holed up in the bathroom, of course. He claims he didn't hear a thing.

Then, as we were getting ready to leave, Kaitlyn started grabbing at the electronics in my purse, knocking everything else off the chair by the door in the process. Normally I have ultimate patience for her curiosity but for some reason, today, this was the last straw. I hurled my purse onto the dryer "No, for the last time you can't have mommy's phone!" I screamed. Keith, sensing that things weren't normal, scooped her up and out of the room immediately. I turned my rage to the boots. "I hate this room, why can't anything ever be put away!" I cried, as I hurled boots and baby shoes at the wall.

Next, I had to pack my lunch. We are getting ready for a trip to Vancouver so we don't have much food in the house and we're somewhat scrounging for meals this week. "How come there's never any groceries unless I plan everything?!" I wailed. "Everything in this fridge is disgusting!" Doors were slammed, old containers of leftovers flew in the general direction of my lunch bag. Two chunks of rotten cucumber were thrown at the compost bin. I missed and there is now rotten cucumber splatter all over my counters. I picked them up and chucked them in the garbage, slamming cupboards and screaming "Screw the compost, screw the stinky garbage, I hate everything!" As I write this, I'm amazed by the fact that I didn't actually lie down on the floor and start kicking and screaming.

Finally, we were all in the car, ready to go. Then I realized it was compost day and the bin needed to be taken out to the road. My final act of rage and frustration was taken out in a stomping, kicking-the-can march down the driveway, in boots and a skirt.

I wanted to share this today because it's the first time I've really lost it as a parent and I hope that some of you can relate, and maybe even feel better about your own frustration, by getting a chuckle out of mine.

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Vegucation isn't working

I officially declare the end of our attempt at vegetarianism. Two weeks of a grumpy, hungry family is enough for me. The simple fact is that even though we both want to eat more ethically, we don't have the knowledge or resources to make this switch right now. And we don't have enough time to do the research we need to do.

We weren't getting enough protein or fat in our diets and let's be honest, getting a baby to eat vegetables can be a really frustrating experience sometimes, especially after daycare has let her fill up on crackers. We will still incorporate some vegetarian meals in our routine, and I'm sure that I will still feel just a little guilty when I buy mass-produced meat but until we get to a place where other choices are more accessible, it's back to meat for us! Unfortunately, getting Kaitlyn to eat meat is also a really frustrating experience sometimes. What kid doesn't like deer shepherd's pie?!

Kaitlyn enjoying Easter dinner at grannie's house. That bowl is full of veggies!

Thursday, March 21, 2013

What's with all the sodium? The first days of mass production alternatives

I ventured out on that first weekend and did some grocery shopping alone in order to take a close look at some alternatives to mass production meat and I found out that almost everything on offer is high in sodium. Veggie dogs (which Kaitlyn loves) and soy cheese are loaded with salt, while milk alternatives are only slightly less offensive. I realize that the choices I made are in some cases just the vegetarian equivalent of regular high sodium junk food, but not all. How do vegetarians balance their non-meat alternatives with a low-sodium diet?

Speaking of sodium, one of my new choices is to use veggie broth in soups instead of chicken. A quick comparison of the PC Organics brand and the Campbell's Organic veggie broths, which I unfortunately neglected to do at the store, shows me that the PC brand has twice as much sodium per serving. It also contains tomato paste so that means there's sugar in there, too. The photo on the front shows an inviting clear-yellow broth while the actual product is brownish-red. Yuck, I won't make that mistake again!

Do vegetables really taste so bad to the average consumer that everything has to be salted down? Or is it just what we have available at our store? Apparently soy products are also highly modified so they're not popular with a lot of folks. This venture of ours is turning into a lot of research, it's almost like learning how to eat all over again.

I'll also mention that our first couple of weeks have not been all veggie. We've had deer and, since I'm not about to waste money throwing out everything we had in the freezer, we've also had some chicken. At this point, it's something to explore and be conscious of when we make our meal choices. But it's hard and we need to keep being reminded. When I told Keith that I was craving salami, he asked "what animal is that?" That didn't help my hangry but I'll forgive him because he's so supportive.

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

A tipping point

Last night at the grocery store we had one of those moments that, I hope, will define parenthood for us. Normally, if we all end up at the grocery store I'll take Kaitlyn to the toy section while Keith does the checkout. Beside the toys are the paper towels. Stacked high with spaces between, it turns out that they make the perfect labyrinth of towers for an 18-month old.

As we were leaving the store, Kaitlyn ducked into the paper towel maze. And that was the moment. Tired after a stressful day of work and eager to get everyone fed, I could have easily marched in, picked her up and insisted we go home. Or, as her mischievous face peeked out from the first tower, I could choose to join in the game of hide-and-peek, which is what we did. For at least two minutes we all ducked in and out of the paper towel tower maze, Kaitlyn giggling and shrieking all the while. At one point she even pulled me in to her little space to hide from dad with her. It set the tone for a night full of laughter for all of us and I guarantee I'll never wish that we had gotten home two minutes earlier.

Saturday, March 9, 2013

Getting Vegucated

A few months ago we cancelled our cable and got Netflix, for the few times we have time and inclination to watch TV, and to avoid commercials for the ridiculously inane garbage that now passes for entertainment. Since then, I've been watching things I probably never would have rented from a video store, just because they're there. This week, I've been working my way through Vegucated in which a New York woman challenges three people to go vegan for six weeks. During that time she tries to teach them as much about the benefits of eating plants as possible, and exposes them to some of the truths about where their meat comes from.

I'm only half way through the show and it hasn't been particularly graphic but I can see why people avoid documentaries like this. Seeing images of mass farms and how the animals are treated is horrifying. Think about that for a second. Seeing where your food comes from is like watching a horror movie, one so bad that most people avoid it.

I'm going to throw it out there right now that I am not now nor will I likely ever become a vegetarian but this show has made me realize how lucky I was to grow up, for a short period, on a farm where we grew most of our own food and animals. We had pigs every year that had special batches of jam made for them, and my dad kept the freezer full with deer and moose. Even now my freezer is full from his last visit. It's not the killing of animals that bothers me, it's how they are treated when they become machines to satisfy the masses.

I knew before starting the show that mass-produced meat was not humanely treated and it bothered me a little, but not enough to stop buying meat in the supermarket. We do buy local eggs and I've looked into local chickens but wasn't motivated enough to follow through. Last night, however, I couldn't shake the truth that I had seen and today, I am more determined to make changes.

So what does that mean for my family? It means sticking to local, humanely treated meat or game. It means choosing more meals that feature beans or legumes, or even tofu (to Keith's horror, he's pretty game about the rest). And it means we are going to try some other vegan alternatives, like almond and soy milk, and soy cheese. They're worth a taste at least, right?

Saturday, March 2, 2013

Are bottle feeding moms demonized?

A couple of weeks ago I posted this story to my facebook page, a rant about how breastfeeding moms are given a tough go about feeding in public, or continuing to feed past one year and several other issues. It sparked a conversation between my friend Carli and I about our experiences with breastfeeding and she pointed out that bottle feeding moms are judged perhaps not as overtly, but just as much.

So here's my confession, I'm a judger. I didn't realize it until this conversation but it's true. I like to think that I believe everyone has the right to feed their baby any way they want. But then I realized that every time I find out that someone bottle feeds, I ask the question "why." And in that simple word is the judgement; the belief that they must have some justification for choosing to bottle feed and that they should share that justification with me.

So far, everyone I've asked has had a reason that made sense to me, such as not being able to produce milk. I have not yet met a person who simply said "because I didn't feel like breast feeding" and if I'm going to be honest I have to say that if I met that person, I would probably judge them. In fact, I would probably decide based on that statement alone that our values were too different for us to be friends. Talk about being a judgy mom!

No one has ever asked my why I breast feed my daughter. In fact I've never had anything but positive interactions about my choice to feed her that way. And my automatic reaction to bottle feeding moms makes me wonder if maybe the tide has turned. Are we now making it harder on those who choose bottle feeding?

Friday, March 1, 2013

The best baby cookies ever!

I've been sharing this recipe around a lot lately because it has become my absolute favourite after daycare treat for Kaitlyn, and last minute breakfast option for myself. The recipe was passed on to me by a friend and I've been making my own additions and changes. You can find the original digital version from allrecipes.com here. The key is to make the cookies small and flatten them out a bit so that they cook properly.

"Healthy" Banana Cookies

3 very ripe bananas (the riper the sweeter)
2 cups rolled or quick oats
1 cup dates, dried figs or any other dried fruit
1/3 cup vegetable or grapeseed oil
1 tsp vanilla extract
(My optional additions)
1 tsp cinnamon
1/2 to 1 cup ground nuts

Mash bananas in a bowl. Mix in all the rest of the ingredients and allow to sit for 15 minutes. Drop by teaspoon onto a cookie sheet and bake at 350 degrees for about 20 minutes. The bottoms will be quite brown as the sugar from the bananas caramelizes.

Enjoy!
Photo courtesy of allrecipes.com

Thursday, February 28, 2013

A visit with grandpa

I realize it's been ten days since I updated this blog and I apologize, but Kaitlyn had a really nice visit from grandpa last weekend and I couldn't tear myself away from watching them bond.

When Kaitlyn was born I was shocked at how much of a softie my dad became. In fact, he started getting protective the first time I went to visit my parents while pregnant. He wouldn't let me go shooting because the sound might scare the baby. And after she was born it just got worse (well, better really, I love it). She can do absolutely no wrong in his eyes. When I was visiting with her at three months, he was the one to get out of bed laughing at 4 am when I was threatening to throw her out the window because she refused to sleep. And when it came time for her first birthday party, he and Keith took charge of the decorations and cleaning up the house.

This visit, grandpa jumped in to play with Kaitlyn every chance he got. I could see them growing closer as the weekend went by and it warmed my heart every time I saw them laughing together. This isn't the relationship that I had with my dad when I was younger and I've never seen him have so much patience and tolerance with someone, but maybe that's the difference between being a parent and being a grandparent.

When some visitors leave, you sigh with relief that the pressure of having a guest is over with and your life can return to normal. When my dad left this week, I wished we had booked him a longer trip and I just hoped he'd be able to visit both his little girls again soon.


Kaitlyn teaches grandpa how to colour on her new dry erase crayon board (his idea!)


Kaitlyn and grandpa enjoying the Yukon Sourdough Rendezvous festival.


Monday, February 18, 2013

Potty training false alarm!

Kaitlyn's fascination with the potty has been short-lived. After two sessions of pooping on the floor because she doesn't want to actually sit on it for more than a few seconds, I'm going to declare that the move into potty training was a false alarm. I can't help but sigh with relief because I wasn't quite ready to go there yet. Not only have I not done a single bit of reading on the subject, I just don't feel like I'm up to the challenge of reinforcing these habits yet. We'll keep the potty in the bathroom, where I manage to trip on it daily, and see how she does with it later on. At this point, familiarity is good enough for me.

In other news, we had a house full of stomach flu this weekend. I was the last to get it, last night, so I get a sick day all to myself at home. I should mention that for me, flu means just feeling nauseous and tired, rather than actually getting sick. For Kaitlyn and Keith, it means, well, what flu usually means. Arguably, I could have suffered through a day of work but after a weekend of dealing with a sick household, I could really use the rest.

Eleven of the kids at Kaitlyn's daycare also reported having flu over the weekend, which makes me want to pull her out of there asap. Some people argue that daycare is a great way for kids to get exposed to all the germs so that they build up immunity, but I call BS on that one. I didn't go to daycare once in my life and I have great immunity. It's rare that I actually get sick and when I do, it's not nearly as severe as it seems to be for everyone else. Hopefully, they don't all pass it back to each other again today.

Sunday, February 17, 2013

Singing solo after all

So it seems that I'm getting a second chance to try my hand at singing solo in the choir, or rather as a duet. I got the part! I'll be singing the opening to Memory along with one of our other, more experienced choir members. I'm super excited but not as much as I think I would have been if I had done better at the audition and felt like a really deserved it.

As it turns out, the girl who blew me away during the audition studied voice in university and has aspirations of singing opera professionally. She isn't singing this part with me but she has many other solo parts in the show. And that's the beautiful thing about a community choir, you get all types of experience and you don't have to be the best to get a chance to shine.

True to my word, I'm investing in voice lessons and had my first one last week, with the aspiring opera singer. I had a great time and gained a lot of confidence just in that first short hour. And I know that I wouldn't be putting this effort in if I hadn't both done poorly and then gotten the part, an opportunity to prove myself. Thanks to our very understanding choir director for that!

Happy lessons learned this week!

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Daycare smells funny

I don’t like the way Kaitlyn smells when she comes home from daycare. It’s not a bad smell, just different, and distinct. Like when you walk into someone else’s house.
I notice it as soon as I pick her up and it reminds me that someone else has been taking care of her all day, watching her play, teaching her and making her smile. It takes about an hour for her to smell “normal” again, about the same amount of time I feel that it takes for us to reconnect and her to be okay with not being in my arms.
It took me a while to realize what was different about her every day when we came home and once I realized that it was a distinct scent, and that I was unconsciously smelling her as soon as I got her into my arms, I started to look into the idea of what we can learn about each other through smell. It turns out that mothers can identify their children through smell (no surprise there), that there actually is such a thing as “old-person smell” and, most interestingly, that humans have long used smell to get to know one another and for inner assurance that the other person is familiar.
This article tells us that pheromones are responsible for those familiarity smells, but I still don’t know what makes her smell so different. Her pheromones haven’t changed, and her daycare doesn’t have a distinct smell to it when I walk in the door, so what gives? My guilty working-mom conscience tells me that it’s nature’s way of reminding me that I haven’t been doing my job, or encouraging me to bond with her again and get her normal smell back.
Does anyone else experience this? Is there something different about your child when you've been away from them for a day or more? 

Monday, February 11, 2013

Kaitlyn goes sledding!

We've had really great weather here lately and we finally had the winning combination of warm(ish) weather and no sick peole in the house, so we took Kaitlyn out for her first sledding experience. She loved the first two runs but as you can see, the wind was blowing pretty hard so she got tired of that rather quickly.


I'm not one to be deterred by poor location so the next day while Kaitlyn was napping I built a kid-sized sledding hill in our backyard. We tried it out and when I asked if she wanted to go again, I got a big smile and a great big "Yeah!" Finally, we're having some outdoor fun this winter!

Getting ready for our first run on the home-made hill.


Success! Kaitlyn loved the short ride and the lack of wind.
I should probably mention that the making of the sled hill was only possible because Keith's been shoveling all the snow off the deck into a huge pile all winter long. All I did was pack it down with snowshoes and run the sled down the hill through the powder a bunch of times, tough work for a girl who loves sledding!

Yukon Quest Winner!

I just thought I'd post this link about Allen Moore winning the Yukon Quest because Olivia, the dog on the right, is the one that Kaitlyn met just before the race started! That sweet little dog helped lead Allen and the rest of his team to victory.


Photo by Sam Harrell, Fairbanks Daily News-Miner


Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Matt Gurney says we should quit our jobs

Yesterday, a federal court ruled that employers have to accommodate parent child care requests. This mostly affects shift workers who may have a hard time finding child care on weekends and evenings, and I know there are a lot of you out there. One of my best friends, a brand new mom, is facing this challenge in the United States, where she will have to occasionally find care for a 12-week old baby on weekends. Don't even get me started on the horrible parental leave situation in the States!

Matt Gurney, from the National Post, says that parents who don't want to work shifts as assigned by their employers, should quit their jobs rather than raising a fuss about it. New parents, who suddenly have a lot more responsibility in their lives, should just up and quit their jobs that provide health care benefits and, I'm assuming, things like pension funds.

He says that becoming a parent is a lifestyle choice (which I agree, it is, but one that is necessary for at least some people to make) and that employers should not be expected to accommodate parent needs because they are part of that lifestyle choice and not a legitimate need, like religion.

I think this is a terrible piece of advice from Matt Gurney, who is apparently also a new parent and should know better. Here's a few reasons why a new parent might not want to, or be able to, quit their job.
  • Tranferability of skills. In this case, the person who filed the case worked for the Canada Border Services Agency (CBSA). I imagine that some of her skills are transferable but it seems to me that there is pretty specific training for that industry and I'm willing to bet that most employers who could also make use of those skills are also based on shift work.
  • Benefits and pension funds. There are a lot of incentives for staying with an employer long-term, especially ones like CSBA and those benefits are geared towards people with families who value stability and long-term planning.
  • Requirement to remain with the employer. When I took maternity leave I was offered a top-up package, a very generous boost to my income for seven months of the year I was on Employment Insurance (EI). In return, I have an obligation to work for my employer for at least six months. Fair enough.
  • Income. Anyone who has been on EI for maternity leave knows that even at the maximum level, it's not much. After a year of that income (assuming you don't have a top-up), you're probably scraping the bottom of the savings barrel, or living with some debt. The most irresponsible thing you can do is quit your job because your employer isn't willing to be flexible.
Employers are (mostly) obligated to hold a job for an employee on maternity leave, why shouldn't they also have the same obligation to not make life so difficult for an employee with children that they are forced to quit? After all, the years that the employee will need this arrangement are not long in the scope of a career and would probably build a lot of loyalty.

Ideally, this would be something the employer and employee should be able to work out together, without having to go to court. But if an employer has the ability to be flexible for employees because of religion or disability, they should be willing and able to be flexible for employees with children.

UPDATE: Last night, Matt Gurney and I hashed it out a bit on Twitter, with a few others jumping in, and Keith and I hashed it out a bit at home. This is the beauty of writers posting controversial views, it gets people talking. I appreciate that Matt took the time to read this blog, offer me constructive criticism, and to discuss viewpoints, especially since he also has a young family.

Following the discussions, I have to say that I still feel that employers who are able and willing to offer reasonable requests for accommodation to people for human rights reason, should also be willing and able to offer the same accommodation to parents. In this case, I don't think it was unreasonable for the complainant to ask for regular and predictable hours so that she could schedule child care when it was available. However, I'm conflicted about whether or not this is something that should be brought to the courts, which was Matt's point from the beginning.

I personally wouldn't take this issue to court. In fact, when I returned to work, it was made known that easing back in with part-time hours simply wasn't an option for my position and I accepted that without question, even though another woman down the hall was able to return with an 80% commitment. I know that if I want to change my work hours, I'm going to have to quit my job. At least I have the  luxury of regular work hours that coincide with daycare hours.

However, I still don't think quitting work is a reasonable or even viable alternative for a lot of parents out there, as discussed above. And I think we can all agree that the world would simply be a nicer place if employers just played nice, within reason, and made things a little easier for everyone out there who needs a little extra flexibility sometimes. I appreciate the discussions I had last night and thanks again to Matt for stirring things up a little.

Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Potty training already?!

I thought potty training was something you started to try out around age two and were maybe successful with around age three. But lately a few of my at-home(ish) mom friends have been posting about their successes with kids that are only one to three months older than Kaitlyn, including One Fit Mom. I was shocked! I thought to myself that there’s no way Kaitlyn will be potty training any time soon; she doesn’t know when she has to potty and I don’t have enough time with her during the week to enforce anything.
Not two days later, Kaitlyn toddled in from the living room and announced “Poop!” out loud and with sign language. Sure enough, she had a smelly little bum and had come in to announce it. She then proceeded up the stairs to her change table singing “poop, poop, poop,” all the way. I was floored.

Image from pottytraining.ca

I got a potty, just in case. Then last night she walked into the kitchen and once again announced “Poop!” and proceeded upstairs. This time though, there was no smell. I brought out the potty, just to see what she’d do. She was thrilled, so thrilled that she forgot about saying, or going, “poop” and focused solely on her new accessory. She opened and closed it constantly, repeating “potty, potty, potty” and getting on and off. She got so excited (and we so distracted by her excitement) that she pooped on the floor.
So it looks like we’re heading towards potty training much earlier than I had ever expected. Or are we? Could this just be a new fascination because she’s been spending time in the toddler room at daycare, where they have a potty?
Baby Centre Canada has a fairly informative article on knowing when they’re ready to start training and how to go about it. All indications tell me that she is at least getting close but I’m worried about enforcing it because her daycare has a strict “no-pressure” policy when it comes to this. Any other resources out there that you would recommend?

Monday, February 4, 2013

Just a little song and dance

I have that feeling you get when you face the reality that a dream is never going to come true. Utter, crushing disappointment. It's not that I ever really thought I was going to be a professional singer but until tonight, it at least seemed like something I could have done.

Back in July, I wrote about a dream I've always had to be a singer and I said that I was going to take a dance class and try out for a musical. I did take the dance class but I didn't try out for the show. One reason is that after going back to work I realized that I didn't want to take any more time away from Kaitlyn than I had to and the intense rehearsal schedule would have been too much. The other reason is that I realized in my dance class that it wasn't really a strength and although I had fun, I was way out of my league and there were a lot of very talented people lining up for parts in that show.

So, I re-joined the Whitehorse Community Choir and went back to my roots. This semester we are doing Broadway tunes, including my all-time most favourite song ever, Memory (from Cats). This is a song I've been singing to myself several times a day since I was eight years old, the first of three times that I have seen Cats. So when it was announced that the opening lines would be a solo, I literally almost fell down with excitement. I felt like a character on Glee, obsessed with getting a solo and convinced that I would simply die if it wasn't me.

I practiced on my keyboard. I recorded myself on Garage Band to see how it sounded, and loved the results. I drove Keith and the cats insane with my repetition of the same eight bars. I have it absolutely nailed and I swear to you that I can sing this song beautifully and in my sleep. In fact, I probably do and it might explain Kaitlyn waking up so much lately.

Finally, tonight was the audition. I stood up for my turn and it was... terrible. My timing was off and I sounded like a terrified little girl. The image I had of myself standing up to sing in a beautiful somewhat-operatic stage voice crumbled as I realized that I was off tempo, wavering and far too quiet. 

I've never sung along with the music before. I wasn't paying attention to the piano and it threw me off. That, and the the girl who sang before me had a gorgeous voice and nailed it. I tried another song, Think of Me from The Phantom of The Opera, and the same thing happened. An octave transition that I easily managed at home was almost impossible in audition. So maybe that's it. Maybe I'm one of those people that can only sing in the shower except that for me, the shower is home and it's only good as long as there is no accompanying music.

So for tonight, my dreams are crushed. I've realized I'm never going to stand up and wow everyone with my voice out of nowhere. That kind of talent takes practice, and a lot of dedication. And maybe a bit more nerve than I had tonight. But at least I can comfort myself with a hot spiced rum, the knowledge that at least I tried, and a plan to take voice lessons from the girl who nailed it before I could even open my mouth. 

Sunday, February 3, 2013

Kaitlyn goes to the dogs

Yesterday was the beginning of the 30th Yukon Quest International Sled Dog Race and the teams took off from Whitehorse. Lucky for us, it was only -2, not so lucky for the dogs, who prefer to run at about -20. We bundled Kaitlyn up and took her down to Shipyards Park to meet some puppies and get in on the excitement. She loved meeting the dogs, gently woofing at the ones near the fence that were getting ready to run.

Unfortunately, even a warm day in Whitehorse usually turns cold when the wind is blowing and it's always blowing at the start line. We had about five minutes of absolutely miserable baby when she refused to put her gloves back on. All in all I think the excitement of the day was lost on her but the chance to meet puppies is always a highlight of any day for Kaitlyn.

"Oof, Oof!"
Kaitlyn and her best buddy Hayden
After a good cry she still refused to put her gloves on but we got her bundled up and warm anyways.
The only decent shot I managed to get of the Quest.

Thursday, January 31, 2013

I've missed you so much!

It's been a long time since I had an entry for this blog and there's a couple reasons for that. First, our family went through some tough times and I wasn't quite ready to share all of that with the world. Some bloggers can put every marital, child-raising or career trial out there for discussion but I don't feel like I'm ready to share that deeply yet. For now, the really tough times are something my family and I will weather without the help of the virtual world. At the same time, I didn't feel it would be appropriate for me to keep posting like everything was fine. I think that this blog should contain a true and accurate snapshot, if not the complete picture.

The second reason I've been absent for five months is that going back to work has been really, really hard. Not because Kaitlyn hates daycare, (she loves it and is learning so much!) and not because I hate my job (I actually really enjoy it most of the time,) but because it honestly feel like a struggle just to get through each day until the weekend, and every weekend feels like we're just getting ready to manage the next week.

Five months after going back to work, I still wish that I was at home with Kaitlyn. I'm pretty sure that the people who worked to liberate women from the home didn't intend for us to instead be chained to our desks. It was meant to be a choice but inflation and economy, along with being the primary earner for our family, mean that I don't have that choice, and it breaks my heart.

That being said, we are settling in to a much better routine and I feel ready to write again. So expect more posts, more photos and more Mommy & Co.

Kaitlyn has been doing her best to deal with the cold this winter.

We missed the chance to say Mery Christmas!
Kaitlyn has grown and learned so much in the past five months.