About Me

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I am a mother of one with a background in public relations and communications, and a degree in Psychology. Before becoming a mom I was very career focused and traveled across Canada working for the Canadian Forces before moving to a job with the Yukon government in order to settle down. This blog is about my transition from working bee to full-time mom and maybe back again. It's also about what it means to be a mom and a home maker.

Friday, May 4, 2012

Making mistakes, just like mom

This post was written for inclusion in the May blog carnival hosted by One Fit Mom. Today, participants share their funny, honest and even poignant confessions of how they are less-than-perfect parents (or parents-to-be). Please read to the end of the post to see the full list of links to other carnival submissions.

First things first, I love my mom and I think she was a great parent. When we were young she stayed home with us and took in other children to make ends meet. All of our meals were home cooked and our clothes were hand-made, a model mom and I strive to be like her in so many ways. But there was one way I always promised myself I would not parent like my mom, I would not ignore my child crying. When my brother was little, he sat in his high chair while my mom rummaged through the fridge to make yet another meal for her family. I have no idea where I was for this story. Suddenly he started crying, screaming his little head off, and she ignored him, wanting to finish her task. When she finally turned around she discovered that he had bounced his chair right over to the stove and stuck his fingers into the hot element. He still has the scars. To be fair, my brother screamed a lot and was a little hellion by all accounts but that story has always stuck with me as the one thing I would not allow myself to do as a parent. "Who could ever ignore their baby crying?" I asked myself. How judgemental we can be before we have children. 

Now, I've been lucky enough to have a daughter that doesn't cry very much. Usually she's very laid back and something has to seriously be wrong for her to get going. But recently she's been going through a clingy phase. It seems that I can't put her down for even a minute without a cry to get up again. So the other day as I was scrambling to get us ready for a walk, I put her down in the stroller and ran to grab a sweater. I'll admit that I took longer than necessary, checking it out in the mirror to see if it looked nice, even though I'd be putting on a jacket. As I decided whether I looked drab or fab, she started with her little cry. The same one I always hear when she wants to be picked up. "Just a minute!" I called, "Why can't mom have just one minute to look nice when I spend so much time making you look adorable?" I was frustrated with this new development. But still, the cry continued. Finally I stalked back into the living room to see my daughter hanging out of her stroller, little legs dangling and little hands hanging on to the sides for dear life! I ran over and picked her up, repeating "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry! Mommy will never leave you alone again!". Immediately the story of my brother popped into my head and I regretted ignoring her cry for even one moment. Although she would have dropped only six inches, that's a long ways for a seven month old baby! 

I can't guarantee that I won't ever ignore my child's cries again, but at least I have a better understanding of where my mom was when my brother stuck his fingers in the stove. And now she always gets strapped in to the stroller immediately. I know that there will be other less than perfect parenting moments but for these times I have a mantra that I have often repeated to my daughter in times of stress, "I'm doing the best I can!"

Other submissions:

Cassie at Mama PhD 'N Training discusses her cloth diapering dilemmas, and how they might be interfering with the progress of her dissertation.

Carmen at I Love Being Mom shares the guilt and relief that came with the end of her breastfeeding relationship.

Quinn at Sun Flower and Sunshine (whose baby is due any day now!) confesses her third trimester diet debauchery.

Vicky at TGAW shares some of the hilarious mishaps of computer programmers turned parents.

Carli at One Fit Mom reveals an amusing list of her best, er, worst parenting transgressions.

1 comment:

  1. As the mom of a baby who starts crying as soon as his world drops below the 98% satisfaction threshold, I can definitely understand where your mom might have been coming from - and where you were when Kaitlyn slipped out of her stroller.

    I always worry that people are judging me when I walk down the street with a covered stroller containing a crying baby (he usually protests loudly for 5-10 min when he's tired and needs to nap). I feel like they're wondering why I am leaving my crying baby covered up and not taking him out to be comforted.

    Becoming a mom has definitely made me less judgemental of other parents!